Welcome to my world. Don't leave any stains.

The story so far (edited highlights, lowlights and nolights):

I was conceived in Poland, born in Edinburgh and brought up on a small island off the coast of Argyll. (See pictures one and two.) I spent much of my childhood painstakingly chipping fool's gold from the local slate; an activity which has since come to seem like a terrible metaphor for my life. At the age of fifteen, I washed up like driftwood on the lower reaches of London, where I have inexplicably remained almost ever since, pining for the hills and the sea. Many years of working in libraries have filled my mind with lists, dust, and strange pieces of information, as well as reinforcing my native cantankerousness.

Picture three illustrates the trademark
tall ponytail I wore for years, and
shows my desperate struggle to
keep the hairdresser at bay
...a struggle I sadly lost last
summer. Our new album
now goes by the
provisional title
"Farewell to Ol'
Pointy Head".